Why did it take me almost three decades to discover something like this...

I was having a moment where I really wanted a piece of chocolate so I scrounged up some change and was going to pick up an Andes mint at the coffee shop in my office building but then...a worker a few rows over called me over to show off his cake. This is a google image of the cake but that's what it looks like. It's black and shiny and BEAUTIFUL.

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This is called "La Bete Noir" or "The Black Beast". It's so unbelievably rich, I can't even finish my small slice. This makes cheesecake feel as light and airy as meringue. If it wasn't so early and I wasn't at work, I'd want this with a small glass of a bold red wine. My black coffee will do fine though. Like, this is really, really rich. I'm going to have to bring home the rest of my slice for my husband and son. I feel like I should be wearing pearls and an evening gown while eating this. This is exquisite.

ETA: Here's a recipe I found-

I would totally use a bit of coffee extract in the cake part though. This was a good addition.