And I gotta say? Unimpressed. It was tense (per the title) but honestly not scary at all, and I am a baby with scary movies. And I really didn’t find the tension any more unique or intense than any number of other movies, in or out of the genre.

This movie has been looming so large in my mind for years, due in no small part to a) the fact that it’s always near the top of horror lists and b) my husband has gone on about it as the only movie he has seen that’s scared him. (Re-watching it tonight, he wants me to assure you, GT readers “I don’t know why I ever said that.”) So I’m glad I saw it because now I don’t have to be scared of the idea of it anymore, I guess. I am pretty sure I’ll sleep fine tonight (extremely rare for me after a horror movie).

*SPOILERS BELOW*

Also... the totally stupid twist? Really? Should we do that after Fight Club and The Sixth Sense? So, so stupid. I almost wanted a laugh track. Also I would love to read some scholarly article on LGBTQ horror movie killers, because that aspect of the story is always amusing in a really offensive, telling way.

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