Lentil shitasses? Wannabe lentil shitasses? Gather 'round and rejoice! This is lentil madness! Main-dish lentils for omnivores, even! Free exclamation points!

OK, so it started off weird. My little Ramsay-dog isn't feeling well so I've been giving him a diet of rice + a bit of protein yesterday and today. But tonight I ran out of rice so I took some stranded fettuccine (does everyone have like three half-full bags of pasta in their cabinets?) and broke it into about 2" long pieces and dumped it in a pot of boiling water with some lentils and a bit of beef bouillon to entice him to eat it.

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But what happened is that once it was all cooked down, he SCARFED it down, and it smelled so good in the kitchen I grabbed a bite. Then another. THEN, inspiration: I put some in a big bowl, added a splash of Worcestershire, a dollop of sour cream and enough water to moisten the whole thing and just had the BEST damn stroganoff.

Like, I'm fantasizing about how stupid good this is going to be jazzed up for intentional human dining with some onion, garlic, and mushrooms. I'm not kidding, btw, it was absolutely delicious, and the umami from the lentil/sour cream combo is amazing. Like off the charts good.

So, that happened when I shared my dog's dinner tonight.