My cats woke me up at 4:30 this morning because, apparently, the question of, "MOMMY! FUUUUUUD??" had to be answered right. then. My immediate thought was, "Someone remind me again why I didn't name you guys Greedy and Asshole?"

Just in case you didn't know, my cats are named Salinger and Bradbury. I love authors, I love cats, ergo, my cats are named after authors. That's logic, kids.

I was still contemplating my apparent lack of precognition in not naming my cats something more appropriate to their personalities and instead giving in to the blind optimism that they would become the world's first best-selling cat authors of coming of age sci-fi novels, when I ran into my boss at the downstairs cafe.

Boss: "Wow, you look pretty tired."

SmittyDubs*: "Yeah, my stupid cats woke me up at 4:30 this morning."

B: "Oh! Did I tell you I got two new kittens this weekend?"

SDubs: "Ahhh, cool - for [kid #1] and [kid #2]?"

B: "Yep - here are the pictures." (DAMMIT - My kryptonite! Cute fluffy kittens being held by adorable tow-headed children!)

SDubs: [really inappropriate SQUEE noises] "What did they name them?"

B: "Ughhhh. The names they come up with are so stupid. [Kid #1] wants to name his 'Ironfist.'"

SDubs: "That's amazing."

B: "But it's a tiny little girl kitten! And he wants to name it Ironfist!"

SDubs: "I fail to see the problem."

B: "IT'S A TINY GIRL KITTEN."

SDubs: "My opinion remains unchanged."

Anyway, this is just a long winded way of me wanting to know your pets' origin stories and coo over your furbabies once I finally wake up. At some point. Probably tonight, when the newly re-christened Greedy and Asshole demand something else.

* Someone from GT gave me the nickname SmittyDubs at some point in the past and I can't remember who! But whoever you are, masked stranger, I love it!