I had an interesting small discussion with my older sister about my very deep desire to finally be able to live alone. It’s another example of not listening what I have to say and assuming that my life will be horrible and I will die alone and forgotten, because...well, no idea. She means well, because I tend to have a pretty solitary life ( solitary, not lonely, mind you) and she fears that this will worsen as soon as I’m living on my own.

The thing is, that I feel that I can’t live the way I want because of a shared flat. It might be different with a partner, which is something that won’t happen, but I’m kind of fed up with compromises in my own place.
My life has changed, I don’t feel anymore like the person who doesn’t mind having mismatched cutlery and silverware, I want to buy new and nice silverware or cast iron pots aka expensive things you have to treat the right way, but my roommate, no matter how much I love him, is not the person I would want to share expensive things with. Since we live with a “share all the things” arrangement and while I admit to hiding a few things in my wardrobe, I don’t want to hide pots, etc or forbid him to use those.
Secondly, my roommate loves to sleep in. In fact he is still sleeping at 11:30 am in the morning while I have already made a couple of errants and reeeally want to turn on the washing mashine and knock in a nail to hang up a picture. Especially the sleeping in are small things, as is “I want to go to the toilet exactly when I need to”, but they add up to: Arrgh, I want to have at least one place where I make all the goddamn rules and don’t have to be considerate all the time.
What’s standing between me and my own flat is of course rent and living in an expensive city, the reason why I’m looking forward to moving back to my home town.
At least I have a great roommate no matter all his faults combined with mine, so it’s not actually horrible like pretty much all my former shared flats, just annoying in some minor but important ways.
My sister is an extrovert, btw, so I’m not suprised she doesn’t really understand that I need alone time to be able to recharge while every single introvert in my life just nods and agrees with me.