So today is the day my mom is coming. She is going to watch Baby Haa so Mr. Haa and I can get some dinner together but she also wants to talk about my PPD. My husband told my dad about what a struggle I had been having and my dad told him that he remember how hard of a time my mom had with me when I was born. My husband got pretty upset at hearing that because that isn't what my mom told me. "That the was the best time of my life." It felt pretty accusatory at the time. Like it was obvious to her that it wasn't the best time of my life and there was something very wrong with me because of that. So my dad called her and told her to get her head out of her ass. She had apparently blocked all of that out. She called me and began to apologized profusely for making me feel bad and that she must have forgotten about how hard it was.

I know I'm supposed to forgive her and realize that this is just her personality. That I can't change her and to turn the other cheek. But I just found myself rolling my eyes and saying "yeah okay, uh huh." I was hurting the worst I've ever hurt before and she was the farthest thing from supportive. It makes me feel like I will never be able to turn to her when parenting gets hard. She only wants to hear the idealized version of my life. The one I've been giving her for the past 5 years. It's easier on both of us.