... Even if you’re a ‘no’;

... Even if your answer is, ‘I don’t know if I can attend that bridal shower for now because I don’t have control over my work schedule, but provided I’m not working, I’m definitely there,’ (which is understandable and makes me feel okay about eating the cost of you possibly not being able to make it, because you tried).

Please don’t succumb to the temptation of ‘what’s one more?’ because that adds up so quickly at a larger-size event (e.g., suddenly, the host is 2 days away from having to give a final headcount to the venue with 30 of 60 (!!!!!) invitees still unaccounted for, and the host may begrudgingly have to consider everyone who couldn’t bother to pick up the phone or type the world’s quickest email all ‘yeses’ to the tune of an extra $800).

Advertisement

Please don’t assume that because we’re family, I will know that you’ll be there without you saying so. For example... maybe I live 3,000 miles away from you, I talk to you 1-2 times per year, AND I DON’T HAVE ACCESS TO YOUR PERSONAL CALENDAR, AUNTIE, to know whether you have other showers, graduations, birthdays, or trips lined up for that key May weekend.

So yes, please, please, please just send that RSVP.

And if you’re the groom’s immediate family member and you can’t bother to respond to a group-text from him asking you for an answer... we are probably not going to get off to a good start in our quasi-family relationship.

In conclusion: save a bridesmaid, always RSVP. Rant over.