Things that won't ruin your day or send you screaming, but just give you an small extra helping of fuckitall.

Scenario 1: My mother calls, says she is sending me a package. Is terribly mysterious about what actually is in the package but implies that it is full of GOOD STUFF. Because I fall for this every time, I wait eagerly for package, imagining it will be full of unicorns and rainbows (because those travel so well through the US Mail). Weeks go by, the package never arrives. My mother has not sent it and has put it "someplace special" so she will remember to bring it with her if she comes to see me. I will find it months or years later as I clean out one of her closets. It will contain random junk from Reny's that is not terrible but not worth the frustration either. Did I mention that this is usually a late birthday "present" or something of that sort?

Scenario 2: Without mentioning it to me, my mother sends me a package via ultra super express mail. The kind that's like $40 and needs a signature so I usually miss it the first time round and am stressed till I receive it. I open the package expecting sky has fallen news. I find a stack of junk mail addressed to me at her house with notes of indignation scribbled on it asking me why I don't stop this stuff from appearing.

Currently in the midst of Scenario 1. Sigh.