Last week, had a second date with a guy. Drinks, light dinner, back at my place for sexy cookie-making, and sex. All around, fun times had by all, but the sex was definitely him-focused. But fun guy to spend time with, so I was looking forward to the next date.

Waiting for guy to ask me out for a proper 3rd date, especially after sexy times. Jokingly called him out by mid-week, asking him when he was going to make a move and ask me out. Said it would happen soon.

So last night, at like 5:30pm, he texts, asking if I wanted to go to the movies. And then “to your place after”.

Um, sure. Give me details (where, when, what, should I eat first, etc.), and don’t expect sex because I’m on my period and I just don’t feel like it.

Radio silence.

Check back in, asking if we’re still on.

Him: Yes.

Ok, great...again, give me some details.

Him: Let’s watch a movie at your place.

Um...ok? Now you’re inviting yourself to my place? Fine, whatever, but I don’t want to watch anything I own, so I ask him to swing by Redbox and pick up something.

Him: :/

Me: What?

Him: I never see anything good.

Me: What do you mean?

Him: I never see any good movies at Redbox.

Me: Go on your computer and check to see if there’s anything good.

I mean, I check out redbox occasionally, and there are always at least 3 movies that I would watch but don’t because the desire isn’t great enough, but I could grab something for a date. A simple, 5 minute task, right?

3.5 hours later, he texts: “No luck!”

Ok, fuck you. Let me list the ways that in which you pissed me off, and I won’t be returning any of your future texts should you bother:

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1) Last minute text implies that I was a last-minute thought. I like planning dates, and hate last-minute shit. I want to be important enough to make plans for, not just a “oh, well I wasn’t doing anything better option”

2) You offered to go to the actual movies, and then back-tracked the moment I said no sex.

3) You invited yourself to my place. Like, wtf? That’s relationship-level shit, right there. Also, if you thought that you were going to come over and get some while I got nothing, then you were incredibly wrong.

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4) You fucking whined like a child when I asked you to put in the slightest bit of effort for this “date”.

5) You blew me off. Sex was off the table, and you changed your mind.

Asshole.