We've all gotten them - that delightful toxic friend who makes an offhanded comment about you that makes you smile, and then go "Wait - what? Hey!".
So give me your best, most favorite ones. The ones that are so ridiculous you almost laughed at how transparent they were. Chatting with Lady formerly of the Bananas on the Anthropologie hate post reminded me this morning of my all time favorite backhanded compliment, from a delightful girl that I was too naive to realize at the time was a complete frenemy.
My friend was a very tall, very thin girl from a wealthy family, whom I met my first year of college, when I was a pretty insecure, chubby short girl from a dirt poor rural family who desperately wanted to pretend she came from the suburbs like everyone else. I had a LOT of baggage both about my weight and my circumstances.
We were shopping one day at the fancy mall, and she was looking at clothes. The jeans that fit her the best were like 200 dollars, and while she was fake deliberating whether or not to buy them she said to me:
"You know, you're soooo lucky that you're short and like... curvy. All of the clothes that fit girls that are tall and thin like me are so expensive, because that's what designers make clothes for. You're lucky that you're able to wear those cheap clothes".
THANKS TOXIC FRIEND! You're obviously genuinely jealous of how fat and poor I am, and thanks for implying that all poor people are definitely short and fat. I DO feel lucky now.
So lay it on me, guys. Give me the stuff that still burns a little.
ETA I forgot my gif, guys! Toxic sloth - he LOOKS adorable until you realize he's judging you :/