I don’t know what’s happening to me, but it’s painful and weird.

Yesterday morning I woke up with both legs in spasm from the knees down. My calves were rock-hard and I couldn’t bend my knees. I was in so much pain and basically I couldn’t walk unless supported by something (I wall-crawled to the bathroom and back). I called work to say I wouldn’t be in and rummaged around in my bedside table for the rxs I had left over from the back spasm about a month ago, and fortunately there were plenty left. I rearranged my pillow fort to the best of my ability and then just lay there, wondering what the hell was going on, until I nodded off from the drugs. By 1 pm I could bend my knees a bit. By 5 pm my calves had gone back to their usual squishy selves (I never thought I’d be grateful for squishy calves, but now I have a good reason) and I could walk again, though very gingerly, and I was still feeling a fair amount of pain. This has never happened to me before.

So what the hell went on there? It was like I had charlie horses in both legs, but having had charlie horses before I don’t think it’s possible to sleep through them (yeeeouch!) and I’ve never had TWO simultaneous charlie horses. I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary on Tuesday, unless you count walking a few extra blocks since they moved my bus stop, but it was just a few blocks and I was wearing my usual sensible footwear - Clark’s sandals, practically orthopedic compared to what else is out there. I had a quiet evening and went to bed early. Why why why did I wake up with my legs frozen in place and screaming?

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I’m back at work, moving slowly and carefully, and wearing flat shoes. I brought all my rxs with me In Case, especially because my back is beginning to feel funny again and I’m hoping that it’s not planning to spasm again. But WTF? Why am I a coiled spring of pain? How did I piss myself off?