EDIT: He died today around 5 pm. His kidneys had failed and his heart was starting. It reminded me of my dad dying. They kept getting him back after his heart would stop.... going down the drain, I think someone said. He had family all around him last night and today.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts, prayers and warm wishes. They made me feel like I wasn't alone which is very important to me.

He danced at my wedding which was amazing to everyone since when they (and my mom's generation) grew up, the Covenant religion didn't ALLOW dancing amongst other things. My mom said this was the second time he ever danced with the first being his daughter's wedding. I'm so happy to have been able to see that and provide the opportunity.

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It's also strange and kinda triggering for me because it was during his and his wife's 50th wedding anniversary party that my dad was found unconscious and began to die. He held a prayer circle (though I think I asked for it) for him. He also prayed while at lunch with my mom when I was in Chicago interviewing for the school that I graduated. A relatively conservative christian (in faith, not in political beliefs, I think) praying that his grand niece gets into a fancy art school.

In honor of him, I'm going to try and organize something special for GT Wishlisters. I was going to do it today until life things got in the way.

Love yourselves, others and have faith. Faith in anything you wish that provides you comfort and is well-intentioned.

First post from yesterday.

Very old. He and my great aunt were missionaries in the (formerly Beligian) Congo. They left when they saw blood in the streams. He's at a hospital in the suburbs with family. I could probably take a taxi and be there but I had a thought about how weird/excessive/crowded it would've been if extra family were around when my dad died. Of course, that was an entirely different situation and he was a drastically different man.

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I've got a mix of sadness, numbness, guilt and nothingness. So I'm having drinks. In honor of a temperate man, too. I'm an awesome person. :(

Anyways, he is an incredibly kind open and Godly man. They would house foreign missionaries from all over just a few years back. I remember at one Thanksgiving or Easter it being a sea of white Swedes and then the two missionaries from somewhere in Africa that they had with them at the time.

Prayers and thoughts (for non-praying types).