I'm a celebrity news junkie. It's the cotton candy for my brain. Today on my TMZ refresh, I see this story - Charles Saatchi is filing for divorce. I mean, this is probably good for everyone, except when I see this:

"I feel that I have clearly been a disappointment to Nigella during the last year or so, and I am disappointed that she was advised to make no public comment to explain that I abhor violence of any kind against women, and have never abused her physically in any way."

Oh, well, so long as we're clear that no matter what, it's still Nigella's fault for not defending you, and not your fault for physically assaulting her.