Mostly because I needed to talk about the bat that just got into the house.

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For context, I am still living with my parents (because, unemployment) and they have a house with a largely open floor plan which is not the best for trapping a bat. (You are supposed to close the door and open a window, or so I have learned.) Also apparently, the police department no longer sends people over to help you deal with this, because apparently its become too much of a liability? (I want to know how much shit they broke in people’s homes for this to become the new rule...)  The police told us to grab brooms and open a door. Apparently bats fly away from sound and towards cold air, so we needed to dislodge it from its perch with a broom and then basically chase it towards the door.

So, me and my 70 year parents just ran around our living room waving brooms and screaming at the top of our lungs. I’m sure our neighbors LOVED us.

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And guys, this fucking bat. It flew straight for the door, before suddenly reversing course and flying right back into the room and landing on the opposite wall. We got it off the wall again, and the EXACT SAME THING happened: it got to the door and said “fuck no,” and turned around again.

On the third try, my mom accidentally knocked it out with her broom. Then she just swept it outside. Its been a long time since I’ve seen my mother look quite that pleased with herself.

Whats up with you all tonight?