So here's the scenario I find myself in.

I have been working for the last month at Job A, knowing the entire time that I had been hired at Job B but would not be eligible to work there for a month (long story — suffice it to say, and I am absolutely serious here, this is Jerry Sandusky's fault). I figured I'd be working at Job B one day a week while working five days a week at Job A. Not that I WANT to work 50 hours and 6 days, mind you, but it pays the bills.

I had a rough day at work because my boss at Job A gave me WAY too much to do (basically placing me in a no-win scenario), my primary co-worker is a pain in my fucking ass, and I didn't done even close to the amount I wanted to. My boss is likely to be a snippy, sarcastic asshole about this tomorrow, and if he is, it's going to make my decision here A LOT easier. I called my boss at Job B to make sure all the paperwork had FINALLY gone through (it had), and he surprised me by offering me a full work week of 40-46 hours (it was unclear how long some of the shifts were). Basically, he badly wants me to leave Job A entirely and just work for him.

A couple things to make clear before we get to the pros and cons of each: both jobs are with legit companies and I'm not going to get hosed in terms of a pyramid scheme or anything. Job A is a prep cook at the kosher deli section of a fancy supermarket, and Job B is as a banquet server at a major University.

Job A Pros:
— Consistency. I know I'm getting 40 hours a week and I know exactly what I'm making. I am able to budget. In addition, the earliest I have to leave the apartment is 6:30 AM and the latest I can possibly get home is 9:00 PM. Btw, before you shit on that early shift, know that in general, that's actually a great shift and I love getting up early and getting home early.
— Full health benefits. Medical, Dental, Vision, Prescription. The whole shebang. I should note that this is the biggest point in Job A's favor.
— It's a 15-minute walk from my house.
— I don't hate it. I don't love it, but I don't hate it.

Job A Cons:
— My boss is kind of a sarcastic dick. I don't hate him the way I hated my last boss, but working with him isn't exactly comfortable. One of the co-workers I like also made it clear that said boss is a me-first person who would absolutely sell anyone down the river for his own benefit.
— My primary co-worker is a lazy passive-aggressive douchebag who either doesn't notice that I work my ass off to get shit done or just doesn't care. The two part-time clerks in our section are great and I love working with them, but the full-timer pisses me right the fuck off.
— No matter how much I do and how hard I work, it's never, ever enough. This job makes me feel like goddamned Sisyphus.
— The involvement of a Union has both positive and negative ramifications. On the plus side, pretty much all the stuff in the Pros list. On the negative side, they watch the hours like a hawk and I'm required to take two 15-minute breaks — which is annoying because I NEVER have time for the second one. Usually I just do what I did today and clock for the break while working straight through it.
— The pain in my hand and back from this job is so intense that I need to take Excedrin every single shift to make it through. I am probably destroying my stomach lining.
— It's entirely possible I could get to the end of the 60-day probation period and my boss could say, "nope, he's not good enough, find me someone else," and I'm SoL.

Job B Pros:
— The pay is SIGNIFICANTLY better — $12.25/hour + tips if I'm working a tipped event, vs. $9/hour at Job A. If we assume even just $100 extra a week in tips (which I'm guessing is likely a lowball number), this would mean $500/week vs. slightly less than $300.
— The work seems to be more varied; banquet serving is never quite doing the same thing over and over and over. This lack of Groundhog Day is actually both a pro and a con, but on balance is probably a positive.
— Unless I am reading my boss very wrong (which I usually only do with quiet people, such as my last boss), he seems like an incredibly friendly, outgoing, goofy guy, the sort of person I usually love working for. He might not be the best listener, at least not on the phone, but he definitely seems well-meaning. Moreover, he REALLY wants me at this job; he made it clear that the banquet serving job is in a company with room for advancement and that I should consider it a career. This only partially seemed to be based out of a need for people; he seemed to just like me personally (part of this is that I interview exceptionally well, because I'm good at not being a douchebag in short bursts) and really want me to work there.
— The Executive Chef at Job B (not my direct supervisor, but someone I'd be dealing with a lot) is, if anything, even nicer than my boss. It's a common misconception that all Chefs are dicks; some of them are great people.
— I would apparently be meeting famous people. In addition to the fact that we work concerts during that part of the season, we do a lot of events for the sports teams at this school (which is a Division I school that does pretty well in most sports), and basketball season is the busiest time of the year. Specifically, this branch of the company is part of the Sports and Entertainment division, so this makes sense. This could be a con if the people are assholes, but it would DEFINITELY make for some great stories.

Job B Cons:
— My boss's boss (though I only encountered him briefly) seems like a raging douchecanoe. However, I wouldn't be encountering this person very much at all from what I can tell; mostly I'd just be working with my own boss.
— The hours seem crazy and all over the place. A couple of the shifts he was talking about involve coming in at 10 AM (fine), one is 1 PM (ok), another is 6 PM (only a problem if this is a 10-hour shift and not a 4-6 hour one), but the last one was 5 fucking AM. Now, 7 AM I have no problem with, but 5 AM? Especially if it's a 10-hour shift (which I'm assuming it would be)? Eesh. I don't know how common these would be, though my guess is not as common because I think there are far more evening banquets than breakfast/lunch ones (and I'm almost positive that's a breakfast one).
— It's a short bus ride from my house. This isn't the end of the world, but the buses in Pittsburgh (or this one, at least) do not seem reliable. There's always the possibility of timing errors when you involve public transportation.
— I'm not sure about health benefits. My boss seemed to indicate that a lot of people in my position (the ones working more than 40 hours) have them, which was a plus, but I'm not sure how that's possible unless the hours are that consistent. If I don't get health coverage from this, I might turn into one of those people that rages against Obamacare (although in my case it'd be because it's not nearly Socialist enough).
— I'm still not sure how consistent the hours are. This is my biggest concern. I know during the busy season my boss was saying that there's 40-60 hours available for those who want them and that it dies in the off-season (summer, when he actually suggested that I collect unemployment because the company doesn't fight people for it, which made me like him personally A LOT, honestly). If I knew for a fact that I'd get 40 hours a week for the next several months, I'd pretty much have my mind made up — which is what shook me a bit when he offered me so many hours IMMEDIATELY.
— This job would not tire out my hand or my back, but it'd be hell on my knees/feet in the same way that all waiting jobs have been. In fact, it'd likely be worse because a) I'm not in severe walking shape, and b) the shifts are so damn long. I could expect at least a couple weeks of nightmare blisters/chub rub before my body adjusts.

So what do you think, GT?