OMG, y'all, the sleven is hopping today! It's like they're giving away free small slurpees or something! Yes, clearly this day only exists on the calendar to honor the great convenience store. Why else do months have more than 10 days?

In order to fit in more effectively with the stereotypical 7-11 clientele, I am kicking my baby daddy out of the house and having a gif party to celebrate. Also, since everyone who works at 7-11 is tattooed, we all showed off our body art.

Before you set out to 7-11, you may want to safeguard your virtual life. Penabler has informed us that facebook has very strange ideas about him, and that he has fanfics written about him. His mum seems to have a problem with this. But really, who among us can truthfully say that we haven't written semi-erotic fanfiction to Penabler? Anybody? Of course not.

While you are at 7-11, BRIMSG would like for you to pick up some munchies for consumption while watching the tv show that is your guiltiest of guilty pleasures.

Couchplanted cautions you about getting their hotdogs, however, as some scientist has IDEAS about our relationship to pigs.

Also, please be careful about how many slurpees you consume, because you wouldn't want to catch the diabeetus and go bankrupt as Deemer has told us about how seriously insane health insurance is.

If you wish to be the epitome of style on your trip to the Store of Greatness, you could wear these amazing shoes that Rawrglicious painted.

I hope that you all bought a suitable gift for Skittish's birthday. A Big Gulp is not acceptable. Get the classy chocolate roses, people.

On your trip, we really need you to do some brainstorming. Ubertrout needs help for an article taking down misogyny in the gaming community (we love you, trouty-man!), and McUncool wants to know which tumblrs to get sucked into.

But GTers! Do not get too bogged down in the mass consumerism that is the Holy Land of 7-11!! Take a moment to ponder the core nature of feminism with coffeejitters nee coffeeplease.

Now that you are sated on slurpees, bad coffee, and greasy revolving food, Aurora F invites you to stop by the hedgehog convention on your way home and marvel at the cute.

Once you have returned to your domicile, you may be tempted to engage in post 7-11 sexy-times, possibly involving an act of oral stimulation. But be warned! Internoftheyear has clued us in to a video which proves some dudes are jerks unworthy of such good lovins.

My friends, my darlings, my fellow slaves to the Great Magical Experience that is 7-11, I bid you adieu. Go out into the world, spread your awesome, be magnificent.