TW Mental Health

Also might go away in a bit

Sorry. I know I have no friends on GT but my BF is out of town and I just need...I don’t know someone to tell me I’m not a monster?

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My dad (who lives in my basement suite) has OCD and severe anxiety issues. He needed food and didn’t have any; I offered salmon from my fridge that I wasn’t going to eat. First I touched the plate with my hand so it was dirty (I literally stepped from washing my hands to the cupboard), then steaming it for a few minutes in the microwave was ‘too much work’ so I put it in the steamer bag myself, but now I touched the outside of the bag so the whole thing was diseased and he can’t eat it.

I lost it. Not proud of that. I called him crazy which is gross and said I wanted to sell the house to get away from him (I love my house and he would be on the street as he has no steady work).

I have a reputation in my social circle as the person you can call at 3AM from Mexico for bail money; I’m fucked up and I have issues but I try to help people. Most people seem to think I’m a decent human (I screw up a lot so I don’t think so. Comes from taking Steve Rogers as your role model; never good enough). My dad loves me but he is the only person who makes me feel evil and diseased and worthless.

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I can't help him anymore and he won't get help. I don't know what to do. I hate this person I am when I'm near him.