Have to do this quick: I'm supposed to be cleaning the computer desk right now. Also, does anybody else hear click on the magnifying glass when they're getting ready to write? I always seem to do that, even though the pencil is right next to it. Anyway:

NY Giants vs. Chicago Bears

Cincinnati vs. Buffalo

Both of these words are words I hate spelling because of the double letters. I've never been able to keep track of double vs. single letters in words.

St. Louis vs. Houston

I don't know why I keep picking Houston. At the beginning of the season, they were my pick to go to the Superbowl (and lose to the 49ers), mostly because I figured it would piss off Cowboys fans who still think Superbowls that happened when I was in Middle School should have an impact on conversations about Jerry as GM.

Carolina vs. Minnesota

Pittsburgh vs. NY Jets

If I can't expect the Texans to win, I might start ironically cheering for the Jets. Maybe they'll buttfumble all the way to the Superbowl this year.

Philadelphia vs. Tampa Bay


Oakland vs. Kansas City

Green Bay vs. Baltimore

Tennessee vs. Seattle

There's another tough one to spell. It has three groups of double letters, so I triply hate it, so I'm picking against them. Also, Seattle is a better team.

[Denver game omitted due to there being no point to making a pick here.]

New Orleans vs. New England

Hey, it just occurred to me New Orleans vs. New England. It's like a Henry V rematch! This time, I'm betting on the French to win the battle of Foxincourt, because instead of Welsh long-bowmen hurling volleys at the relatively immobile French cavalry, New England has an aging Tom Brady throwing passes in the vain hope that a competent receiver will just materialize in front of him. Meanwhile, Gronk will continue to hint that he'll come back, and then be all like, "Nah, jk. You can start some scrub at Tight End for your fantasy team; I'm going to go party with adult film stars."

Arizona vs. San Francisco

Washington vs. Dallas

Indianapolis vs. San Diego

Offical Ph.Dad Possible Herniated Disc Pick of the Year of tha Boomerang

New Orleans vs. New England

Hey, it just occurred to me New Orleans vs. New England. It's like a New Henry V rematch! This time, I'm betting on the French to win the battle of New Agincourt, because instead of Welsh long-bowmen hurling volleys at the relatively immobile French cavalry, New England has an aging Tom Brady throwing passes in the vain hope that a competent receiver will just materialize in front of him. Meanwhile, Gronk will continue to hint that he'll come back, and then be all like, "Nah, jk. You can start some scrub at Tight End for your fantasy team; I'm going to go party with adult film stars."