Ok, so me and Mr.Bottom are having a lazy day, playing with cats and kittens and chilling. We start watching tv, and while Witches of East End is playing, I start messing with my boobs.

It's a weird habit, but I do it in my own home and Mr.Bottom isn't even phased anymore. I just like to check them out sometimes and make sure everything is OK.

Advertisement

Well shit was not freaking Ok. I was feeling around for lumps and I felt a kinda squishy lump, but I have lots of cysts so no big deal. So I keep making firm but gentle circles and I felt a weird pop feeling, but I figured it was just a cyst squishing around in these big old DD's. But as I'm making my way around my boob, I notice there are these little white spots on my nipple. Weird. So I pinch my nipple to see what it is and FUCKING STUFF CAME OUT.

So then I pretty much look exactly like Rachel in that gif because holy fuck, that's not normal! So I start massaging my boobs again because I want to see what did it, and as I pushed ona spot, a little well of milky fluid came out. I touched it and it was sticky, but there was no smell. I did not put it in my mouth because I am not fully insane.

Advertisement

I told Mr.Bottom and he didn't believe me, so then I showed him, and he wastched me push down and more stuff came out.

So he jumped on google right away and apparently this shit could be ANYTHING. I'm on Mirena and have never been pregnant before, so I'm pretty sure it's not that (Mr.Bottom jsut flew to Walgreens to grb pregancy tests just in case). There is no pain, no blood, and It's not pus.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!

Also, I just turned 26, so I have no effing insurance and I am effing poor as fuck. I could barely afford the Dr's visit later this month to go in and get my shot records. How am I going to afford testing for boob shit?! I am freaking out and convinced somthing horrible was going to happen. I blame the fucking shutdown, because ever since it happened, my anxiety jumped up and I've felt certain doom. I know anxiety is an illness, but YEA FUCKING RIGHT! I felt doom and now it's happening!

I'm sorry I'm rambling, I'm freaking out and I can't do anything except pee on a stick and verify that I'm not pregnant. I can't afford anything else.

Also, if i'm pregnant, I'm for sure going to have to get an abortion. We just can't right now, especially with Mr.Bottom about to probably get furloughed and with me in school. I'm sure that's just going to go over so well with my anxiety and stress levels.

Excuse me while I sit here on my couch and sob into my cats fur.

ETA:
NOT PREGNANT, thank you every deity EVER. Now it's probably something equally horrible though so I give a very tear filled "yay".