So in the spring of 2011 I was engaged in one of those epic BFF falling outs. My roomate (and also "bff") had decided to not renew the lease like we had agreed to. She told me this one month before the lease was up. She did this because she had gotten back with her slimey ex-boyfriend.

Some back story:
When we first moved in together she had started dating this dude she met at the pool in our complex. Cool, he seemed nice and she wouldn't have to commute to see him since he lived so close. They date for about 3 months, she's all in love and happy and things are going great. Until he cooks a nice awesome dinner for her, has sex with her, then tells her they need to break up because his wife (!) and 12 year old daughter (!!) were coming to live with him (!!!) and he needed to be fair to them (?!!?!) and give it a chance to work out again. He had told her he was divorced and didn't really care about "his old life" anymore. So they break up, she's hurt and mad but doesn't really miss him. She just misses being in a relationship, because she is one of those people that is defined by who she dates and whether or not she is dating at all. She has a history of staying in bad relationships just because she would rather be miserable than be single.

Anyway, a year goes by everything is hunky dory, we're living the life. Until he texts her one day and wants to talk to her and "apologize". She tells me she's going to go, but only to give him a piece of her mind. Mmhmm, sure. So obviously, she banged him. She thought this was OK because he decided to leave his wife because she "cheated on him and was pregnant with another guys baby" and so he was single. Because that was what mattered. Anyway, this time things are different. They started off cool and he was his normal self, but he had started drinking and simultaneously become religious (and now obviously racist) and would get belligerent when drunk. I didn't know about this (but she did) until she invited him over for dinner at our house and let him drink a bottle of wine and get sauced. He started putting her down and calling her a nag and "sloppy". Then he started talking to me, and making "jokes" about Mexicans and Hispanics and other "half-breeds". I got upset and am not confrontational, so I went to her room (so she would know to come talk to me). She started to tell him that wasn't cool, and he started yelling at her and being dumb, and then there was a knock on the the door. So I go answer and he had invited his friend (without telling us) who had brought more booze. I showed him to the kitchen and was about to leave when her BF tells the new arrival that I had gotten "butthurt" over his jokes and was being over sensitive. "Look, obviously I'm not racist! New-Arrival is black! I'm just telling the truth and making jokes! Don't be so sensitive!"

Advertisement

I looked at my roommate, glared, and walked to my room while he started talking with his friends about how "Stereotypes exist for a reason, right man?!" She started yelling at them, and asked them to leave, but they started yelling at her and told her to leave, so she came to join me (I had decided to clean her closet to vent) and we chilled in there for an hour until they left. She apologized profusely and said she was going to lay it on him once he sobered up, but I doubt she ever did because he was a massive dick for the rest of their relationship.

Her mom, aunt and sister came down to visit, and her mom was a little tipsy and was calling him by a similar sounding first name. He got pissed, reached across the table, grbbed her wrist, pulled it to his chest and put his nose just centimeters from hers and said "My name is Blank, not Blonk.", she went to lean back and apologize, because FUCKING SCARY, and then he said, deadly serious "No. Say it. Blank, not Blonk. Say it."
So she breathlessly said it while all of us sat there, and then he burst into this huge psychotic smile and was laughing like nothing horrifying had happened and said "See?! That wasn't so hard!"

I was sitting next to him, and said (while shaking and about to piss myself) "That was fucking RUDE and so disrespectful." and he leaned in close to me and said "It's disrespectful to not call someone by his name." I was about to say something else, when my "bff" AGREED. I was shocked and uncomfortable and decided to go sit by my friends aunt and trash talk that mother effing lunatic with her. Astoundingly, we were the only two upset by the whole thing.

Advertisement

Well, a few months go by and he very unceremoniously dumps her after being a jerk. Continuously. She's sad, but figures it's best, because she hated his daughter (12), and hated the fact that he spent time with her instead of "with his girlfriend". I think that was the only time I ever said anything to defend him, because wtf?! But whatever, they were broken up and everything would be fine. No more psychotic dude who might kill me in my sleep. As we were driving to get dinner after he had dumped her, she got a text that he had mis-sent saying "Just dumped the flight attendant."
This sent her into a tizzy and she got mad and called him, just for him to say that he had meant to send it to his "friends". MmHmm, sure. They stopped talking and everything was fine.

A year goes by. Then what do ya know?! He texts her again! I am very obviously against her even texting him back, let alone her going to meet up with him so he could "apologize for his behavior so long ago". She says she's only going to go to give him a piece of her mind and maybe be friends, but that's it. She says they're only meeting up at his place (ugh). Then the airhead goes and shaves her legs (facepalm). Obviously they got back together that night. This is just two months before our lease was up. So they date for a month and she is constantly with him, and talking to him and texting him. She tells me that after they hooked up, he called his friends (while they were in bed), put them on speaker and said "Guess who I'm with right now, you'll never guess. We're getting back together." they respond with "The redhead?! Oh man, congrats! We knew you couldn't stay away-" and then he turned off speaker phone and said "no, bff. she's right here! Wanna say hi?!" then tossed the phone at her. She also tried to snoop and found out his cell phone was locked, and that he wasn't going to give her the password. She tells me this and asks what I'm thinking, because the only redhead she knows about is this one friend who was his ex, but who he hooked up with "after" they broke up.

I tell her that it could be the same girl, it might not be, but if his phone is locked and he won't even show her a flash of his inbox to calm her the eff down, then he's probably hiding something. She calls me paranoid. She asks if I like him, I tell her that I obviously don't after everything that he'd done, but that I wasn't going to be mean to him or make it obvious to him. She said I was being "petty". She clung to him way more.

It also turns out he joined the army reserves while they had broken up, but didn't like it. So he was trying to get out, but wanted to not have to pay his GI grant back. So he was trying to SCAM THE MILITARY into thinking he was opening a popcorn shop. HA, his "popcorn shop" was him standing outside of the grocery store (or out at the rodeo) trying to sell bags of popcorn to people. Scumbag.

Then, a month before we were supposed to renew our lease, which we had agreed on months ago, she tells me that she's not going to renew it because she's going to move in with him so they can be "closer". I flip out because I was screwed. I couldn't afford to renew on my own, and I hadn't saved anything up (because I was young and stupid and had a terrible job that paid hardly anything) to have as a deposit+first months rent and all of that.I tried last minute looking for apartments, but couldn't afford anything close enough to my apartment on my own unless I wanted to be murdered on my way to work (I'm not exaggerating). So I moved back in with my Dad. We had an awful fight, she tried to steal my part of the deposit and tried to leave me with the job of cleaning the entire apartment on my own. Basically an awful person in the end, just because I didn't like her boyfriend and she couldn't handle being alone (or finding someone else).

Advertisement

Fast forward to now, I get an email from her saying "Bff Oldname @email is changing her email name to bffBLANK @email!"
I think she tried to make it look like it was from the email provider, or that it was a forward, but it was neither of those things. It was her way of "telling me without telling me" that she was getting married to that massive douche.

I simply wrote "gross.", hit send and didn't care in the slightest if it was a bit childish. It's a bit childish to steal someones half of the deposit because they don't like your douchey-skeezy-probably-a-serial-killer-actually-100%-sure-he-is-a-serial-killer-asshole-who-dumped-you-twice-BF. Did she think I'd be jealous or something that she's getting married?
Please, my BF works for NASA, has a degree and health insurance, while your dude sells popcorn outside of HEB with his moms popcorn maker while using her car. Besides the fact that, ya know, this obviously isn't going to last and you hate his child.