It's official. I am not being contacted for my position here (I'm a 'temp' and I've been doing it for almost 2 years). There are 17 internal candidates that are being considered first and there were over 200 external applicants (including myself). My boss told me today he does not think it's likely that I will be contacted but would like me to train in the new person into their position. Of course I will and I'm glad they're moving me to another area here but I still feel stung and rejected.

I'm starting to get some real, serious job envy. I feel like pretty big loser. Here I am at 31 and have still yet to ever be offered a regular, full-time job with sick days, health insurance, vacation or anything like that. It's not like I haven't been trying. I can make it to final interviews but I'm never number one. It's always a "really tough decision" and I'm wished well in my future. I made it to the final round for TFA this year. I made it to the final round for three separate positions in a local school district (they always pick the internal candidate). I've been in the top 2 twice this year with state jobs.

It's really hard to keep on pretending that I'm awesome when I feel like this. I'm glad it's a cool day outside because I'm ready to go out and run for a while.