After four years of highly sporadic use, my OK Cupid inbox has met its maximum capacity and is in need of a big fat steaming dump. I felt the need to share this dump with you.

These are the men who fell through the cracks of my inbox, messages I never saw from those who were too low a match percentage, too young, too old, or too far away. Some are douches, some are weird, and some are surprisingly okay. As I set about the task of mulling through them, I couldn’t help but see patterns emerge and wondering and what it might reveal about me, about men, and about the climate of mating and dating. 


This final compilation of dudes just leaves me mouth agape, blinking my eyes, and cocking my head, some because they try to hard, others because they try not hard enough, and all because none of them have quite mastered the basics of interpersonal communication.

Lovely, indeed!

For one more comfortable behind the lens, you certainly photograph deliciously! Such that my recently acquired antique Russian portrait lens would relish your feline grace...

And your ‘Summary’ piqued my fine-tuned interest & endless curiosity delightfully!

Could we but meet on The HighLine, or some copacetic downtown boite for some oogling & scintillating conversation?

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing

and rightdoing there is a field.

I’ll meet you there.” -Rumi

PS. Anecdotes? Would you relish tales of back-alley Calcutta? Golden Temples & stupas of Kathmandu? The Chelsea Hotel in the 1980s? Houseboat living in Amsterdam? Just the tip of the incandescent iceberg...

PPS. Peruse my rap-sheet & mug-shots; anything tickles your fancy [this delivered with a Groucho Marx double-entendre leer & bouncing eye-brows], send up a signal flare or note in a blue bottle. Even a cryptic reply to this cyber-saloon icebreaker will suffice...

for I’m Curious & Ever Game, if you follow my drift, ma’am.

TallyHo! ~fotofix~

Is ten-dollar diction truly as tawdry as the urban dictionary would have us believe? Do the lumpen baulk for good reason? I’m more Micawber than middle class yet still enjoy Dickensianesque badinage for no other reason than fun.

I’d say that’s at-least 9 bucks worth. You got change for a twenty?

Marvin.

Hi- I’m Aaron. I had to give okc a dollar to even write you but I assume that is because you mention sex in your profile and men are dogs, you appear to be avid on this site. I found your profile as one of my highest percentage matches but I doubt that means much. I like that you live in [NYC Borough]. I live in [another borough]. Neither are [yet another borough]. We could meet somewhere in the middle, like [yet a fourth borough] (where I am planning to move back -when I have the funds), that is if you don’t find me ugly (physically or otherwise). I am not from here but most of my best friends here are and I have lived here four times now, all briefly. You are hot, but actually not really my type in that way, but also hot. You can mention getting laid every Friday, but then I am shy in that way for typical reasons. I like to spoon. Big or little, but I am a big guy in most respects, and am a good kisser (I am pretty sure). There is so much in your obsessive profile to respond to, and then so many clever retorts, but then I find when I meet people here they hardly have read mine, so what the hell… I gotta lot a clever retorts for ya.

Aa

Hi there! Apparently we have a super high match score and an affinity for flying fish (though I think we should stop making fun of Japanese accents now).

Really I just want to offer my thumb-wrestling skills, hugging abilities, and other romantic wonders. Would that interest you?

Kyle

I just got out of the hospital Saturday ...I had my two hips replaced and a new heart valve put in.. some ECT for the fun of it .. wanted to have reassignment surgery but my insurance will not cover Rome .. now with all that work out of the way I went to the China exhibit at the Met today spectacular see pics .. I feel like I am 53 again ..looks like it’s going to be an all Nina Simone loop as I fall asleep zzzz “Mississippi GODDAM” zzzz why do I have to work

BL Hendricks gone one of my favorite American Painters

Under house arrest, trouble in the paradise, eating frozen yogurt fake ice cream all night? :p

Who are you?

Mm..

I like your nose

Are you dangerous?

You look like a cornucopia of bliss....yet dangerous too?

Can I be your boytoy?

Would You like a very meticulous domestic slave and errand boy Goddess?

Did you pleasure yourself while reading Lolita?

Have you ever considered dropping out of society to live life as a cat?