I used to wear a push up bra every day from high school into college and a little after I graduated. I had really comfortable gel push ups that I loved and they really made a difference, I still have one or two on standby and they still do put me at a completely different shape and boobie size.

I never thought of myself as insecure about it at the time. I liked how the push up bra made my v-neck shirts and tank tops sit. They were never painful or uncomfortable to wear for me because I had found such a good fit and style.

I often joke about my small boobs to friends and family, I honestly don't mind that they're small and I don't think I would ever want a boob job or anything, my aunts have all gotten one with the exception of my mom, who has a similar size to me.

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I think when I was 19 or so I had a bit of a boob growth spurt brought on by starting birth control pills. I stopped taking those last year and noticed a change in my boobs, although a very slight change. They really haven't gotten smaller by any significant size but overall my body is a bit less "soft" than it was. This is actually a good thing in my opinion because I've been able to gain muscle that I thought wasn't possible.

These days I don't really wear a bra for shape so much as just to cover my nipples. On the weekends I wear a girl's training bra most of the time and at work I wear just a comfortable basic no fluff or stuff bra that is slightly too big in a good way. I've got no one to impress really, so why do I need to push my boobs here, there, and everywhere just for aesthetics? I don't know if I've gotten more confident or more lazy, but now that I've been thinking about these things, I feel like I must have been really insecure back then. I shaved my legs more, I did my hair every day, I wore a lot more makeup... I never thought I was ugly or anything, but I did so many things to hide or change things without realizing it.

My boobs were always the easiest thing to adjust and hide. It can be disheartening to go to a store, get sized, and not be able to fit in anything an associate brings you (looking at you Victoria's Secret) obviously this isn't just a small boob problem either, we don't need to compare who has it worse or anything, this is just my experience. Maybe I'm still insecure. Maybe I'd rather not take my bra off when I shouldn't feel that way. Maybe I wish gravity would do something different with what I have. I don't know how I feel. I don't want to change my boobs but at the same time I think I subconsciously don't like them.

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I don't want to have to wear push up bras every day to be the shape I like to be.