I started outpatient therapy last week on Monday. And I must admit I kind of hate it. But the important thing is I think it is helping me. I've already seen myself applying concepts we've covered and even have started to make positive changes to my life.

The program is broken up into two parts. Part one is intense. 2 weeks of full day treatment from 9am to 3pm. Followed by 3 days a week 9am to 12:15pm for 4 weeks. 9-11 we have group therapy. This is tradition sit in a circle and talk about our feelings with a counselor. I'm going to have to talk about some really hard shit in front of strangers who are even more fucked up than me. Not looking forward to this. From 11:15-12:15 we have an educational group that teaches us a concept or skill that will help us cope or manage our mental illnesses. Then a half hour for lunch. The after consists of two 45 minutes sessions of occupational therapy and music therapy. These are pretty fun. The half days have us go home after education group.

One thing I feel guilty about is I'm continuing to smoke pot while I do this. We're supposed to abstain from using any substances during treatment. While I don't think it's affecting my therapy in a terrible way I'm thinking I should probably make an attempt at being sober during this. Pot is a coping mechanism for me and I owe it to myself to attempt to cope without a substance. I will say I've cut down tremendously despite dealing with my father in law's funeral this weekend and several arguments with the spouse over the usual things. So I'm proud of myself already.