(That's tongue in cheek, don't beat me to death with a sock full of iambs please poetry majors)
Apparently, some students at my old alma mater were disappointed that the local supermarket stopped stocking their favorite popcorn. So they wrote a poem about it to the owner of the supermarket chain. This is what they got back:
(The address is a university residence hall, with its name and address online in various places already, but I blocked their names out).