I have a class of 8 three year olds. One child in my class has had consistent issues, especially around rest time, since he was enrolled in July. He is basically unable to sleep on his own, or stay quiet during rest time. Over the summer, when he was in the 2s room, I would lay with him until he fell asleep. At the end of the summer someone else put him down for the last two weeks. He was learning to fall asleep on his own and did so for the first couple of weeks after he was moved into the 3s room in September. Now, he actively fights sleep and anyone who attempts to get him to be quiet and calm when the lights are off. Except the assistant from the 2s room. She can get him to sleep with almost no problem. The solution, according to my boss, might be to simply give her my classroom and make me the assistant in the 2s room.

Today, he was quiet on his bed with a book, waiting for me to read to him. I leave him for last in the hope that he'll be closer to tired by the time I'm done with his book. Everyone else was asleep by the time I read to him. I read his book while he laid on his stomach with his head down. He was quiet and calm, until the book was finished. Then he was moving around, making noise, standing up, climbing the table, and trying to get me to play with him. The director came in to give me my break and he was not happy. He got up, screamed, and started ripping my morning meeting hanging folder off the wall and throwing it at her. I left the room at that point, but stayed near enough that I could hear her talking to him for the next 30 minutes. He was never quiet or calm today. Just before I went back into my room she brought him into her office. Did she expect him to stay quiet there? No. She let him play with a noisy toy, run around, and have fun.

In my mind he's acting out when she comes in knowing that she'll give in and he won't have to sleep. In her mind, it's all my fault and I'm solely responsible for this behavior. I spoke to his mother about it, and her solution at home is to spank him once and then he'll sleep. Obviously, I can't do that at work. By boss wants his mom and I to create a quiet time box for him. I just don't see it working, as this child is not a quiet one pretty much ever. His mom agrees with me about that. She said he makes noise laying in bed at home with no toys.

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I'm being called on to the carpet for not fixing this behavior already. I've tried laying with him, it works for a day or two. I've offered stickers and other rewards. They work for a day or two. My boss keeps offering him lollypops, that I've been told by his mother he's not allowed to have. She gave him one today, after his lack of rest time. She tends to give the reward before the positive behavior.

He's not a child that can be easily manipulated into doing something he doesn't want to do. But that's exactly what my boss wants me to do. I was supposed to have a meeting with his mother tomorrow morning, but the boss cancelled it because parent teacher conferences are in a couple of weeks.

Long story short: 3 year old in my classroom makes noise during rest time and I can't spank him like mom does. Help?