I was thinking about my boyfriend the other day, and in particular, I was thinking about how one day, we might not be together and in many, many years, I might completely lose touch with him. I think about loss and the future a lot, but this thought alone made me really sad. My relationship is great right now, but it's weird to think about its future like that. Of course, I could end up being with him for a long, long time, but that thought is weird to me as well. I mean, he's my first real boyfriend so I have a certain level of fondness for him because he's a "first." Sometimes, I have similar thoughts about my friendships. I guess this is why I have a hard time getting close to people. But for now, I know I should take it one step at a time and enjoy the present moment rather than think about the future.