Working in commercial production means every now and then I hear discussions about casting decisions. I have, over the years, culled random comments into a log. Here are some of the very true reasons why people haven't gotten second auditions or been cast in commercials, presented without comment.

Trigger warning: body snarking

"Her voice is squeaky."

"His eyes are too beady."

"Her face was shiny."

"He's too fat."

"She's too fat."

"He's too thin, like a beanpole."

"No, no, not enough freckles."

"That is an ugly baby."

"She was too thin."

"His face is too masculine."

"Her teeth are too white."

"His beard is too red." "Can we have him dye it?" "Let's ask his agent."

"She looks too young."

"His smile is crooked and not in a sexy way."

"I don't like her outfit"

"He looks like an alien."

"Her hair is too black. Like, her hair would just suck in light like a black hole."

"He isn't ethnic enough."

"She was way too eager."

"He doesn't look like a dad."

"She looks mean."

"He looks like a rapist. You can't have a guy who looks like a rapist in a Hallmark commercial."

Advertisement

"We didn't want someone so blonde. Why do we have so many blondes? Don't call back the blondes."