Per E!Online, Brooks Ayers is shopping a “tell-all” about his reality tv experience and totally real, definitely not fake, cancer. He wants to “rehab [his] reputation.” *cue world’s smallest violin*

But it sounds like it will barely be worth reading b/c Vicki Gunvalson had the sense to get him to sign an NDA five years ago so he can’t write about her, her family, her work — anything related to her life, really. I think we can also safely assume his Bravo contract restricts his ability to spill the dirt on them, either.

Soooo, basically, outside of some minor “this is how your reality tv sausage is made” tidbits, it’ll be a whole lotta nothin’.