As some of you know, I'm a recovering bulimic and (recovered?) anorexic. I had three binge/purge cycles last week, after not having any in the entire time I've been with my boyfriend (almost a year). After a few days of struggling with whether or not to tell my boyfriend, I finally told him about the lapses this morning, selfishly expecting him to be supportive and kind. He got really angry and yelled at me about how selfish and wasteful and stupid I am, so I got even more upset and told him I'd hoped for more compassion, then I had to leave the fight to go to uni to return some equipment & before I left he told me he can't see me for a while because he's so angry at me. I know he's totally right and I'm a horrible person, but now I feel even more adrift than I did before I told him and I really wish I hadn't said anything. Is that normal in a relationship? I feel like I wouldn't be angry at him if it was the other way around, I'd just want to make him feel better, but I guess I can't really predict how I'd react to something like this.
I need someone to tell me everything's going to be okay but I don't know who to turn to because if I tell my mum she'll freak out and it'll make her really ill, and I don't have any friends I can talk to about this.
I don't know what to do. I'm really sorry for being so pathetic and needy, I just don't know how to process shit like this and I'm really scared and alone.