One of my ongoing theories is that when people feel deprived, they can often feel like they have license to act out in ways to make up for this deprivation. I think this theory explains some/many Trump voters - they feel like they don’t have everything they want, so they feel entitled to act out in a myriad of way (being racist, being sexist), etc., or feel entitled to have things or get things or do things.

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I was walking on my treadmill tonight and was just so angry, and as I was thinking through why I was so upset, I realized I’m feeling very deprived and burst into tears. Thanks, Obama.*

I’ve put myself on a very tight budget (to try to save money to move to NYC). I’ve cut out sugar, and have changed my diet and portion sizes to try to lose weight. I have been pushing myself to exercise 5 times a week (which sometimes is fun and sometimes feels like punishment). I’m pushing myself to work more and harder, and feeling very down on myself for not being more productive. And, someone very close to me has been out of town for a few months, and will be out of town/the country for a couple more months - and I’m feeling quite deprived on that front too (and they didn’t say bye when they left the country today - which was a big part of the treadmill-sobbing as well).

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I have to figure out how to not feel so deprived - ways to reward myself, do things that feel good** ... because I don’t want this sense of deprivation to make me start misbehaving or make me feel entitled to things.

*I mean that both ironically and not. Not because I really wanted to hear him speak in person last night. I’m so bummed still about that.

** Not looking for/wanting advice, just getting some stuff out and hoping to spark conversation.