I have had like two straight weeks of high velocity mansplaining around here. I don’t want to be doxxy so this is a little vague, but to explain my set up I work for a large company owned by women with mostly women. Then we have a lot of “clients” from all walks of life, all over the country. I am an almost-architect (unlicensed) but I am the only one, it’s just my function in the larger scheme of things - just so you get a picture.

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Make no mistake, the women I work with are terrible conservative types, but I at least don’t have the problem of having to work for a bunch of conservative dudes. So there’s that.

We only ever have “problems” with the male clients. Like, to the point where all these anti-feminism women I work with recognize it as sexism. We roll our eyes and are on high alert when we get a new one. It’s especially apparent because the CFO and CEO are women, and our managing director (3rd in command) is a man, and unsurprisingly they only ever want his opinion on anything. Managing director is extremely helpful and respectful and let’s them know who’s really in charge, but nevertheless, they are still always trying to get on a call with him when he is busy and this is shit the rest of us are hired to deal with.

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When a female client has any sort of misunderstanding, it gets worked out calmly, everything moves forward, we’re fine. Then the dudes, if their phone call was not returned within 30 seconds of a voicemail being left, or they don’t get the answer they wanted to a question, or they are having some sort of personal problem I’m sure, they go berserk. It ranges from vague threats, to an assumption we are inexperienced and don’t know what we’re doing, to just laughing at us.

  1. Last week, I had to stop a male client from signing a lease which had something to the effect of “tenant to hire contractor as designated by landlord at tenant’s full expense.” I’m not a lawyer, so I said to our lawyer “that looks a lot like they are being forced to pay the landlord’s buddy an infinity amount of money to be able to go through build-out and open their business.” Our lawyer (also a woman) agreed with me, so we called the client to advise him on this. He went ballistic and accused us of holding up the process and costing him money.
  2. Last week also, I had this repeat offender calling wanting info from me, that needed to come in emails. It’s written, it’s visual (floorplans), it’s photos. However, I’d sent it to him many times, and he just goes “well I don’t check my emails but I need this stuff.” Weird. It’s like, you need me to send you an email, want to repeatedly blame any delays on my having not sent you an email, but you just don’t read your emails. Weird. Bonus points: on the last phonecall, he said “sorry I’m out of breath, I’m doing my cardio right now.” Cool story bro. Read your emails on the treadmill howsabout.
  3. Yesterday, got a VERY angry email from someone saying he’d repeatedly tried to get in touch with me and giving a screed about why my not being in touch was costing him XYZ whatever. Fun fact: I had confirmed three different times last week via email to chat on the phone, had called him and left voicemails each of those times, and gotten no response. Not even an acknowledgement that we’d “missed each other”. I returned his email, asking if he’d received my voicemails, to which he replied “Oh I haven’t checked.” ... .... .... OK, one thing not to check your messages - sure, we all do that. Quite another to go off on me before you do so.
  4. Today, was on a friendly call with someone who just tries to waste all my time, with two other women from my office. He’s rambling on about stuff, joking around, bitching about his wife, and then discussing some window storefront stuff was like “yeah it doesn’t have windows all the way across, and like I talked to my wife and I know how you women don’t have that business brain you know, you think about other things.” Really? You’re telling this to three people that have coordinated the opening of over 200 of these places and you’re going to tell us about business? I do fucking math and read building codes and leases all day while drawing floorplans and you think I don’t have any bit of business brain? Fuck you dude.

But really, fuck me.