...how it is that Japan has not yet produced an anime featuring Wilford Brimley fighting ninjas with the power of his Moustache-chucks. How does this not exist? If Rule 34 has to be responsible for horrible things that should never see the light of day, why can't it also be a force for good?

ETA: I just want to remind everyone that somewhere out there is a mainpage commenter who would find this post offensive for its rampant Moustacheism.