Let's discuss how everyone poops, shall we?

Inspired by PhilipKVagina's embarrassingly real "this has probably happened to all of us" post, and besides this was her idea. I just want to see her happy. That's me, guys. A people pleaser.

But I want something in return. We are in America, after all.

Give them to me ladies and gentlemen: what are your opinions on public bathroom etiquette? Is it all bullshit? Should you ever say anything to another person through a stall? Do you comment on smells? Have you ever backed up a toilet? How do you deal with this as a woman?

For obvious reasons, I've chosen to be proud of how truly heinous my behind gets because, well, it's not like I'm going to spontaneously regrow that other intestine half on behalf of everyone else's sensibilities. Obviously, I'm militantly Pro-WomenShitStopActingSurprised. What about you? Do you even want to be able to talk about it more openly?