I got some unwelcome news today, and it has popped the happy bubble in which I’ve spent the last couple of weeks.
Warning: PETTY NONSENSE
My best friend called me this morning to inform me that my ex is engaged. She wanted to make sure I didn’t stumble upon the information on social media, and I am really grateful to her for that.
So this ex, he’s proposed to the girl with whom he cheated. It was an amazing, magical surprise proposal and the ring is goegeous (as is this girl) and the engagement party and wedding are going to be fantastic and grand and beautiful.
And I’m angry. And I feel fucking stupid for feeling angry.
I’m getting married in a month. To someone I love deeply. Tex loves and respects me with all his being, he makes me feel safe and cared for. I feel like I’ve found my “person” in him.
And yet. Here I am. FUMING. Feeling just as broken and humiliated as I did when my ex and I broke up. Fighting back tears.
And the awful petty little tiny part of me is resentful because I never got a proposal or a ring. And we’re eloping. And we’re basically broke and will never be well off. And ex is a millionaire. And I HATE myself for comparing financials. I know it doesn’t matter. And I know I’m marrying the love of my life on my terms.
I’m struggling with some nasty awful petty intrusive thoughts and it’s taking me away from my very happy reality!
Feelings are the worst :(