I think I've finally, really and truly gotten to the root of why her comments bug me so much.
Rashida is setting up a false dichotomy. Her comments are basically saying the following, in stated order:
-Here is a list of things that make the patriarchy smile
-Feminism is anti-patriarchy
-To be a feminist you must never do things that make the patriarchy smile
Sorry Rashida, but no.
Do you know why I started shaving my legs? Because the patriarchy told me leg hair was gross and unfeminine.
Do you know why I continued to shave my legs after finding feminism? Because I fucking like how my legs feel when they're smooth. I do it much much less now, (currently going on about 2 months post shave atm) but when it happens, it is a personal choice that has nothing to do with the patriarchy.
Same with my cleavage. Do you know why I started wearing busty tops? Because the patriarchy told me that was sexy.
Do you know why I continue to wear busty tops after finding feminism? Because I fucking love my tits. They're big and awesome and I naturally have what millions of women have to go under the knife to get. I like my tits so much that sometimes I want to show them to other people. BECAUSE THEY'RE AWESOME!
What is bugging me about Rashida's comments is the implication that a woman's choice, nay a feminist's choice, will never, ever, ever, ever happen to coincide with the patriarchy's agenda. Nope.
You know what else the patriarchy wants? For women to be barefoot and pregnant. Do you know what some feminists want? To be motherfucking barefoot and pregnant. And that is totally fine. Jesus.
Her comments are basically saying that anytime a woman makes a choice that happens to make the patriarchy smile (regardless of her personal motivations for that choice) she is doing feminism wrong.
I have a problem with that.