Well, yeah, she brought home a man alright... Mid-range Daughter is HAVING A BABY! We’ve been trying to cobble together a VERY fast wedding date she sprung on me not long ago (October, wtf, Daughter????) and now... BEBBBBBEHHHH. This girl. She’s been through so much you guys. SO MUCH. Abortion her freshman year, rape her sophomore year, engaged her junior year.. now. Whoa. She does NOT believe in half-measures.

And now she’s going to be a mom by choice with a man we kind of love when he’s not being a total lazy stoner. She’s literally only about 3 weeks pregnant, so yk, prayers and good thoughts and such are accepted. True to her Irish upbringing, she’s due right around St Patrick’s Day, March 17th.

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But in THIS IS ABOUT ME news.. I can’t pretend I’m not old anymore! Grandmother = old. Period. But call me Nan, please. (My grandmother name is based on how I used to say my real name.) I’m 45. I guess that’s old? I’m still hot, but that’ll take the wind out of your metaphorical fucking sails, y’all.

The only scary thing (for me) is that she’ll push through and graduate college in December.. and then they want to immediately move to his home state of CA (most of y’all know I’m super-small-town Texan because I won’t shut up about it). Which actually may be ok, because we may also be moving to CA, about 20 miles from where they’re headed. (UncleK just heard THE weirdest rumor about his weird job shit that’s been dragging out forevvvvvvvvver: random employee just told him the plant manager said “UncleK is leaving. Yeah, he’s going to CA.” UncleK has heard he’s the only candidate for this job. “The job is his.” UncleK’s boss says he’s gone.. BUT no one has made him the actual offer. Long Beach needs MONEY and we’re not going anywhere without the right amount. So. Much weird.)

Life: Save up you guys, it’s expensive and fucking crazy!