Holy fucking shit, you guys. That was bad.
I am in so much pain right now. The actual insertion was probably the most painful thing I have ever experienced. Right now it's the most severe cramps I have ever felt, with occasional stabby pains that rocket me up to a 9 on the Allie Brosh pain scale. Hopefully this is all worth it.
Oh, and I made the doctor laugh so hard during the insertion she had to stop what she was doing (thereby prolonging it!!). I apologized in advance for swearing (this is a religious hospital, after all), and she told me not to worry about it, she wouldn't be offended and she's probably heard worse. This is the transcript from the insertion:
Dr.: Okay, this is where it starts to hurt.
Dr: (laughs so hard she almost fell off her stool)
So that's it. I'm going to go lie down now. Love you guys!
ETA: It's much better now after some vicodin and cuddling with MitsuBT! We're going to get lunch now. :)