Like, really. I mean I am either an awesomely funny person because of this, or I am the worst. Like, the worst.
So, context. We're discussing the translation of an Italian play, in which one character describes another as la reginetta de gravidanzes interrotas* (translated as the queen of aborted pregnancies).
We were tossing out some thoughts on making that work better in English, also figuring out the context on whether the Italian implies miscarriages or abortions, because whichever is meant either reflects on the speaker or the spoken. If miscarriages, the doctor speaking reveals himself quite early to be a bastard of the highest order. If abortions, the young woman in question and her fraught relationship with her boyfriend gains some dimension.
Anyway, after sorting out that it's abortions, we start tossing out ideas. Someone suggested "Abortion queen" for a more natural idiom. Someone else, pinging on the diminutive in the reginetta and its implied sarcasm, suggested "High queen of abortions."
Then I chimed in. And I brought the blasphemy. I suggested... well, this:
If there is a Hell, I probably belong there, don't I?
*Transcribed from memory, may be misspelled or missing an article.