20+ years ago I got a phone call from a man out of the blue one evening.
I was living in a loft in Boston and he occupied the loft a few floors below me. I was really good friends with everyone he lived with & I & my roommates threw parties all the time. I also cooked dinner for any/everyone on the regular & would make pancakes at 2 in the morning after nights out dancing. It was a lovely time in my life. I truly had the life I’d always dreamed of as a fairly young creative person, surrounded by other creative people. Wonderful friends.
One of those nights, we got intimate. Then, he pretended it never happened. I wasn’t known for casual sex; it just wasn’t (isn’t) my thing. He had to know I was hurt and confused by that even though I never said as much. For me, up until then, sex was the beginning of something, not the end of something.
He was the man on the phone some months later. He was calling to apologize for hurting my feelings. I was like, “What? Wow. Thanks, but why now?” He went on to explain the Jewish day of atonement and to say he felt he needed to apologize to me. I was floored. It was beautiful.
That Passover, I was invited down to their loft for the dinner. I’m a (recovering) Catholic and had never been to a Passover. Truly lovely experience.
I think about him every Yom Kippur. I think about how this should be a secular holiday as well; that we should all just mend fences with those we feel we may have wronged over the previous year. Wouldn’t that be productive in healing so many things?
Anyway, I’ve made some calls today. I’m also making matzo ball soup right now (Irish Catholic version) to honor my Jewish friends in this world. They won’t get to eat any though :)
To you, people of GT, I’m sorry if I’ve been harsh in a comment I’ve made to you. I’ll try to do better.
Use this thread as you will, even if it’s to apologize in to the ether to someone you can’t speak to in real life.