Because I have the cheap Shiraz and I'm more caught up on my course planning than I was at the start of the weekend, here are nine random statements to explain the Ph.Dad "brand."

1. Ph.BigBro (3yrold) should really have his own Twitter feed. He has this way of adding words to his sentences in a funny way — his latest is "apparently."

2. When I was a kid, I had this oddly specific fear involving liquid nitrogen (although I didn't know that was what it was at the time.) I had seen this science TV special where they dipped a beach ball in liquid nitrogen and dropped it and it shattered. I was terrified someone would do that to me. And around the same age, I saw the Star Trek: TNG pilot where Q freezes someone and (this was what I thought happened at the time) someone snaps off his fingers (when I watched the episode at a slightly more advanced age, I realized it was the person's phaser)

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3. PhGramma just got a smartphone. I think she's expecting me to play Words With Friends constantly now.

4. PhLittleBro is walking pretty steadily now (he's 15 months). I'd forgotten how much quicker a walking dude can move than a crawling one.

5. I was never a huge fan of wine; Ph.Dad is more of a beer and whiskey kind of man. But money is tight, and cheap wine is cheap, and I've discovered a fondness for cheap wine.

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6. The past few days in Texas we've had this beautiful fall-like weather in the morning and it makes me think of all the things I love about the fall, like college football, Woodchuck Fall Seasonal Cider, the State Fair, playoff baseball, and it PISSES ME OFF because I know it's a fake fall (like the fake spring we will get in February) and that within a couple of days it will be a hundred fifty billion degrees in the shade (there is no shade) and I'll be drowning in ass sweat since the PhDadmobile's AC does not work so well.

7. Ph.Littlebro has always been so serious, and I just started to wonder if it's because he somehow knew that he was destined to become a middle child.

8. I have gummy vitamins, and I think it would be great if I could also have gummy antidepressants.

9. I got excited because one of the books I'm assigning this fall had what I thought was the word "antidisestablishmentarianism," but it was actually just "antiestablishmentarianism."