A friend of mine just posted a link to an article on her FB titled "I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids And I'm Not Sorry" by a blogger named Amy Glass.
It's as cringe-worthy and awful as you think it is, and to spare you the trying to read through this pile of garbage, I will now share highlights, dissect it, and provide a rebuttal to Amy for your reading pleasure. (Note: my friend explicitly said, when she posted this link, that she didn't agree with it).
Every time I hear someone say that feminism is about validating every choice a woman makes I have to fight back vomit.
This is seriously the first line of the article. What the actual fuck is this shit? I've always believed that feminism wasn't about emasculating men or about shaming women for choosing to get married, have kids, be a stay-at-home parent, etc. Feminism, in my view, is about making sure that women CAN make choices that they feel are best for themselves and their families, including whether or not to be married, have children, be a stay-at-home parent, etc. I, like an idiot, read this line and continued reading thinking it couldn't get much worse. It could.
Do people really think that a stay at home mom is really on equal footing with a woman who works and takes care of herself?
The question is irrelevant, but if both women had the ability to choose between being a stay-at-home mom or work full time without being made guilty or ashamed of their choice by others and without being pressured into either choice, then I think that they are on relatively equal footing.
We have baby showers and wedding parties as if it's a huge accomplishment and cause for celebration to be able to get knocked up or find someone to walk down the aisle with. These aren't accomplishments, they are actually super easy tasks, literally anyone can do them.
I can't help but laugh at the stupidity. First, try being unable to have a child, having one or more miscarriages, or having to terminate a pregnancy because the baby wouldn't survive to term (as happened to me). Second, try finding somebody to spend the rest of your life with. I've been trying and have gotten nowhere for over 10 years. Fuck your smug superiority bullshit, Ms. Glass. Oh, and fuck your poor use of the word "literally".
I want to have a shower for a woman when she backpacks on her own through Asia, gets a promotion, or lands a dream job
I actually agree with this so far. I love celebrating my friends' accomplishments with them.
not when she stays inside the box and does the house and kids thing which is the path of least resistance.
And of course you go and screw it all up. I thought you'd actually written an entire sentence I didn't wholeheartedly disagree with, but thanks for proving me wrong. If any of the amazing women I know were choose to backpack on her own through Asia, get a promotion, get married, or have a baby, I'd be happy for them and celebrate with them.
You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids.
I think your definition of "exceptional" is different than mine. If you mean be an awesome parent who raises awesome kids, I count that as "exceptional". If you mean "exceptional" to mean earning advanced degrees, making an impact in the business world, having a career, etc., then I'd like to show you my Mom who raised me and my brother, earned her masters in Information Sciences, and is a very well-respected project manager at a Fortune 500 company. Would you like to call her unexceptional to her face?
I hear women talk about how "hard" it is to raise kids and manage a household all the time. I never hear men talk about this.
Well, this is in large part because most men aren't involved in parenthood because of the role that the patriarchy expects men to play. We're supposed to be the hunter-gatherers, or whatever, and men are often conditioned to think that being a doting parent, taking part in "feminine" chores such as laundry, or taking on what are considered "feminine" tasks or roles in the household takes away from their masculinity or means they aren't a men (which is bullshit). I, for one, want to be an equal partner in any future household I have and know it's going to be hard work.
It's because women secretly like to talk about how hard managing a household is so they don't have to explain their lack of real accomplishments.
... are you fucking kidding me? Raising a loving, compassionate, well-adjusted child *is* a real gorramn accomplishment. You seem to knock parenthood a lot, but try raising children and tell me that loving, nurturing, and supporting them such that they become awesome kids and awesome adults doesn't require hard work and doesn't count as a "real accomplishment".
Men don't care to "manage a household." They aren't conditioned to think stupid things like that are "important."
Two issues. First, you seem to lump all men into the same group. So, it turns out I, along with several of my guy friends, all have the same view: if/when we have a family, we want to be equal partners in it, including helping with "managing the household".
Second, you consider marriage and parenthood "unimportant" in your view. That's great, and if that's how you choose to prioritize your life and are happy with it, I won't judge you. You, however, don't get to decide how others prioritize things in their lives. Funny story: I'm a dude, and I consider marriage and parenthood important as far as what I want in life. Am I worthy of mocking in your view?
Doing laundry will never be as important as being a doctor or an engineer or building a business.
I'm a cis male, and if/when I have children, I'll consider raising them and providing the love, nurturing, and support they need to be the most gorram important thing in the world. You seem to have decided that because marriage and parenthood are unimportant to you, it should be unimportant to everyone.
You then take your "scale of importance" and use it to mock others and look down on them for the choices they made regarding parenthood and marriage. I have just three words for you: that's not okay.
ETA: My Mom raised me and my brother basically on her own (Dad wasn't as much help as he should/could have been), got her Masters in Management of Information Sciences, and is a bad-ass well-respected PM at a Fortune 500 Company and gets shit done. Ms. Glass, try telling my Mom that she's not exceptional, I dare you.