Every year my friend hosts a “super home-made potluck” for the 4th of July (we used to both host it when I was her roommate). You’re supposed to make something with as much of it home-made as possible. I have a few friends who are super badass at this - like, grow their own food all year and then process it. Last year I made BLTs (using a neighbor’s home-grown lettuce) where I cured the bacon, made the mayonnaise and the bread, and I also made potato chips...so I’m like, medium awesome at it. But yeah, not compared to my friends who like, make their own wine (that doesn’t even taste like toilet wine!).

So, I’m thinking make pasta salad. I’ll spend approximately 17 hours making noodles, and I want to cure my own ham and make some mozzarella cheese. I have twice failed at making mozzarella cheese so I may end up buying this...going to make the vinegar for a vinaigrette, etc. Am I committing myself to disaster? I’ve never cured a ham or made noodles before (I’m borrowing a pasta maker that is much like this playdough thing).

Any other ideas? I like to go pretty standard American. The year before last I made burgers and I ground the meat myself and everything. Although that was a nightmare. Never do that without a meat grinder - I thought my super fancy blender could do it (you know, because it claimed it could and had an attachment for it), but no.

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Also, when I googled “how to cure...” the first result was “how to cure your own cancer.” UGHGHGHGHGGHGHGH STOP DOING THAT PEOPLE.