I'm really uncomfortable with how it is not just expected but encouraged to trash-talk your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend. If the person really was an ass it makes sense to talk about that, and I'm definitely guilty of going "well yeah, he's dumb for breaking up with me!" but calling someone a loser in general just because you broke up?
I was out with friends last night and the subject of exGod came up, and one of my friends' friends said "Wait, was he the guy you were talking about the last time we all hung out? The loser, right?"
"Uhh...I mean, he was kindof an asshole sometimes, but—"
"Yeah! He sounded real loser-ish!"
Maybe it's just me, but having a public bash-session on my former lovers sounds:
a) really mean and juvenile towards someone whose main crime was imperfect relationship-ing
b) like a referendum on my dating choices/judgement in people
c) like it's giving permission for my exes to talk shit about me
none of which I enjoy.
Don't get me wrong: I've made out with quite a few people who were legitimately shitty to me. One in particular, deserves jail time, deportation, and some sort of permanent public record for his general level of shit-tastic-ness. But in general I think relationships are hard and people bang around trying to put square pegs in round holes, so-to-speak. I think I'm a good partner, I've had good feedback from my exes about it ( so basically if there was girlfriend-yelp I think I'd get four stars) but I know I've made bad decisions in relationships and I'm always afraid of being written off because of it.
Maybe we should let people off the hook a little more for loving us improperly. I don't think we should ignore ill-treatment or behavior, or that no one is allowed to vent or be human in their anger, but nobody loves themselves properly all the time. When you don't have that down it's not going to be any easier to properly love someone else.
Your ex's new partner is another story.