The best thing to do when you have Monday night insomnia is to watch the ID network. And the best thing 2 am ID Network viewing is that commercial breaks tendsto be one long-form commercial for diet pills.

Diet pill long-form commercials are great, because it's really fun to see how good the company's lawyers are in qualifying the statements the infomercials make. Tonight's example is Liposene. Did you know that in double-blind study, those taking Liposene lost 483% more weight than those on placebo? Did you? Isn't that amazing?

Until you read the fine print flashing on the screen. In the Liposene funded study, those taking Liposene lost an average of 2.75 lbs while those taking the placebo gain 2.43 lbs, thus resulted in the calculated percentage difference. (I can't figure out the math, but I'm sure someone, somewhere, is able to explain it.)

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Listen, I don't know about you guys, but I can fluctuate a minimum of 5 lbs throughout the day depending on how much water I drink. I'm pretty sure I've fluctuated 10 lbs within a day. So what does that say? Hey, I bet Liposene is a diuretic and the placebo is adding sugar to a person's diet over 60 days.

I think insomnia is making me a cynic.