TL:DR the above sign sums it up nicely.

I realize nearly everyone has holiday/too much at once woes in some fashion. Hugs & love to you all!

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So, here's my stuff. *Edit—Whoa! Those bullet points really ended up all over the place. Thanks Kinja! And hell, thanks Obama too! *

  • Had court for child support enforcement. It went as well as it could, given the situation. Here's the gist: It went fine, nothing crazy dramatic. Except my ex challenging the judge about "not entering into any contract to pay interest/fees on cs", and his statement about how he didn't appreciate "the condescending manner the AG used, or the sarcasm directed at his person". They schooled him, kinda the same way I handle my toddler when he's frustrated and doesn't understand, minus the hugs. That guy needs a hug, seriously. Her lecture was brilliant, and she noted that he somehow managed to come up with thousands of dollars, in a few weeks, since his summons arrived, and pointed out that coming up with $199.00 per month is a much simpler goal, and he won't accrue interest if he makes timely payments. The judge was a woman (LOL), and she was black. Now, all of this is okay in my book. Not so much for my ex who is a bigoted, misogynistic, know it all narcissist! It was so hard to not laugh. I couldn't even make eye contact with my attorney for fear of giggle fits! Also, he wore a band tee-shirt, black military pants, and Converse high tops. He has been trying to grow a full beard for the past year or so, and it's scraggly and awful looking(our son calls it the 'pubic beard') He's also more bald, and despite the fact that he shaves his head, you can tell. I wore business type clothes, cute dress with a smart looking jacket, black tights and heeled boots. He always hated that I was taller than him sans shoes, he goes crazy when I'm almost a foot taller. I fixed my hair and wore makeup & even jewelry. It didn't hurt to have a lawyer next to me so I didn't say anything dumb. Anyhoo, we don't go back until April. We shall see how that goes. =)
  • Update on Grandpa Um. He finally, after 6 very long weeks went to the doctor, who sent him straight to the hospital. They say it started with a small mass on his lung, in 2008, that he chose not to have tx for. It's cancer, lung, bowel, liver, everywhere. He came home today, he's in a home hospice care program. They said it could be two days, two weeks, two months. No way to know. Because he refused medical tx for the past month and a half, there's absolutely nothing we can do but make him comfortable. I have a HUGE trigger regarding terminally I'll grandpas during the holidays. I lost my Ompa, my bestest friend ever, on my 10th birthday. My birthday is days after Christmas. So, I'm sad as hell.
  • I seem to be healing decently from surgery, today is the one month mark. Yesterday, after spending a few hours in heels, my back started to spasm, and hasn't quit. I'm out of pain meds, and the ibuprofen, heat pack isn't helping as much as I'd hoped it would. Doc's office didnt return my call today. Ugh.
  • Umdude could be a little nicer/more helpful/have some empathy for all of this shite, bit no. He's been a grump ass, spent last weekend in Mexico with friends, while leaving me to deal with all the geeklets alone. He works almost nonstop. My pleas for help/assistance are falling on deaf ears. It isn't happy fun land in the moment, and I get it. I've been physically ill/off for over a year. Sorry my body isn't cooperating with whatever idea he has in his head about who/how I'm supposed to be. Since he's gone with our only vehicle pretty much all day, evening, and typically comes home right around when I go to bed, I've gotten no holiday or birthday (glamgeek, umdude, me, and eldest all have birthdays between next week and the second week of January) shopping/planning done. I need umdude to dig the tree/decorations out of storage so I can put it up for the geeklets. He is basically ignoring every request I have, acting like I requested he cut off a limb. No dude, just help me, I'm in effing pain, had major surgery, and need him...emotionally too.
  • When Grandpa Um passes, we're likely going to move in with Grandma Um. I adore her, I love her, we get along great. I don't know what that will look like if we have to share that close quarters. Two matriarchs under one roof doesn't sound like my idea of a good time. Not to mention the mean as hell cat that lives there who hates everyone bit Grandpa Um. I'm not even being hyperbolic, that cat hates us all. He's a biter, scratcher, chaser. This doesn't seem like a good thing for any of us, especially my curious newbie.

So, yeah. I'm feeling a bit like I'm going in circles right now, and I'm hoping I don't get so dizzy that I fall. I'm sad beyond measure, and unsure about the future.

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I have PTSD with agoraphobia, sensory processing issues, and test as HFA. I'm not good at sudden change. I don't think any of the above is going to make that any better. I finally got comfortable in this house, about 6 months ago. We've lived here for a month shy of two years.

Just eff today. And probably tomorrow too. Thanks for listening.