SPOILERS

I need to watch this like 10 more times before I will have anything coherent to say that isn’t screaming and sobbing. So... be prepared for that.

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I have loved this season so much but I’ve been waiting the whole time for an episode to surpass the Pilot, and they saved the best for last.

[Before all the heartbreaking starts:

the Master, standing like 2 inches from Missy: By the way, is it wrong that I....

Missy: *looks down*

Missy: Yes.

Missy: Very.]

[OH YEAH AND HE ACTUALLY SAID THE WORDS “DONALD TRUMP”- no more alluding to orange presidents. DW is pulling NO punches this year with the topical themes (down with racism, capitalism and fascism!) and I love it.]

Ok on to the heartbreak.

Peter Capaldi is just..... why??? why do you have to hurt me by being so wonderful???? Why didn’t you get to be like this for your first 2 seasons??? ??!!? agwejgoiwjhofqfwg

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I was prepared for 12 to start regenerating, obviously. I was prepared for the possibility that Bill would be a one-season companion (but I love how open-ended her exit was! Usually companions leave with some contrived circumstance making it so that they can’t come back. No such problem here!)

But holy shit I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR MISSY!!! OH MY GOD NO. Look, obviously I’m under no illusions that the Master was just permanently killed off from this show. But that was the most heart-wrenching freaking thing. After Twelve’s freaking give-all-the-awards speech to them and then she kills herself! to join him! his best friend! all they’ve ever wanted! NOOO!

The way she laugh-cried when he shot her.. holy shit. No. I cannot deal with these feelings.

Twelve going into battle quoting River’s diary *more ugly sobbing*

I wasn’t thinking about Nardole leaving, either! I think that seemed like a Nardole leaving the show thing, don’t you? I’m not okay with it!!!!

I am so glad Bill got her happy ending with her space girlfriend, I don’t care it’s classic Moffat deus ex machina, I say GOOD. And I so, so, so hope we’ll see her again. She is the best thing that has happened to this show since ever. She is just 100% pure wonderfulness and her relationship with the Doctor was the greatest sweetest thing and I CANNOT DEAL WITH THESE FEELINGS.

And Twelve quoting Ten and Eleven’s pre-regeneration lines, aughhgh!!!!

I’m sure I’m going to have a lot more to say about this when I can watch it without sobbing the whole time.

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In the mean time have this picture of my sweet perfect babies who are totally fine having fun times together nothing bad has happened okay lalalalalala.