In the past few days, I've seen stupid crap (primarily from privileged white folks) about how if you're well-dressed and polite to the police, you won't be mistreated. The Onion tore that bullshit apart. Highlights after the jump.

Here are some highlights:

  • Shy away from dangerous, heavily policed areas.
  • Avoid swaggering or any other confident behavior that suggests you are not completely subjugated.
  • Be sure not to pick up any object that could be perceived by a police officer as a firearm, such as a cell phone, a food item, or nothing.
  • Try to see it from a police officer's point of view: You may be unarmed, but you're also black.
  • Avoid wearing clothing associated with the gang lifestyle, such as shirts and pants.
  • Revel in the fact that by simply existing, you exert a threatening presence over the nation's police force.