Behold the trailer for the new movie 'Paranoia,' the most moviest traileriest movie trailer of all time.

Bomm. Chhk-chhk. Boom. BEEEERRRHHHN. BOOM BOOM.


Whoa!! This movie trailer is not playing around here.

Liam Hemsworth is from Brooklyn. OH NO!! Not Brooklyn!!!! Not that abysmal wasteland of nothing! He's doomed! No one from there has ever done anything ever except be poor and sad!!!

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His life is hard and awful because he's a ridiculously hot guy with a perfect body living in gross shithole Brooklyn. But he's good with computers!! Is he getting a job at the Geek Squad at Best Buy until he works his way up to middle management and gets a nice benefit package and 401K???

No, he is inexplicably going to work for one the biggest most powerful companies the world. Oh, OK!! Sounds good, movie trailer!

Gary Oldman in a tie= Sign of super evil badness.

Gary Oldman - This role seems really challenging and in depth.

Director: Yeah, we'd really thought you'd be perfect.

Gary Oldman: I really think I could bring something new to this utterly generic corporate villain mastermind character.

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Director: Oh my goodness, I'm so thrilled. What will you be doing? Are you going to shadow a Fortune 500 tech company head for 7 months and study their moves until you have the deep psychological nuances and motivations perfected?

Gary Oldman: No. I'm going to wear a striped tie.

Director: A striped tie.

Gary Oldman: Yeah. A striped tie.. Possibly also one with polka dots. This is a new direction here.


Time for a montage of Liam in hot outfits and bathing suits. Because movie plot.

BALD HARRISON FORD.

So now, Liam's doing great—he's sleeping with Amber Heard but THEN OH NO!!

"The kid knows too much," says bald Harrison Ford. Too much? Too much about living in Brooklyn? Too much about fiddling around with cell phones? Too much about where Gary Oldman gets his striped ties?

WHATEVER. HE KNOWS TOO MUCH. TIME FOR SERIOUS MUSIC AND SHIT.

Boom-boom. . . BEEEERRRHHHN. Chhk-chhk. BOOM.

BOOM

Run, Liam Hemsworth, ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!!!! Use what they've taught you against them. PUSH ALL THE BUTTONS ON THE TOUCH SCREEN!

Game. Changer.

YEAH!!! This movie looks fucking awesome! Buy all the movie tickets now!

Paranoia, the movie thing, in theaters Aug. 16.