So, I had a psych consult with a female shrink who came recommended for prenatal depression. I have a history of a mood disorder, OCD, and PTSD. Until recently, I’d been treated by another provider until my insurance and student coverage switched over to another insurance and I got my real job and recently a promotion. I only saw a psychiatrist once every 6 months anymore. I’d been trying to get into a therapist for MONTHS near where I work to try to make things easier as I work far away from home (my previous therapist was in my town and she could no longer do evening appointments so I had to try to find someone near where I work). But no dice on that. Everyone had waiting lists or was an MSW who didn’t do CBT. I figured that was a bad fit. My OB offered me to a referral with a new provider who had openings and since I trust her I went. Provider was a nightmare. She provided me with a script for something I couldn’t take, no one in her office had any idea why I was there, they told me I had an eating disorder (which I don’t), and no one was aware I was pregnant. Worst of all, I got blamed for my own sexual assault. A lot of you on here were SUPER supportive of me when I said this last week and I am so thankful for that.

So, I reported it to my provider and insurance. My provider is on vacation but will get me a referral going as soon as she gets back. She apologized for this awful thing happening and encouraged me to reach out to my past provider. I did. She did get me into the hands of a good therapist and I have a phone meeting with him to see how that will work tomorrow *fingers crossed*. But I called every provider she could recommend and without a referral from my OB, I’m looking at this baby being here first.

It’s no wonder so many people suffer without help until they end up in inpatient care. I am educated. I’ve been through this gamut since I was 18. I’ve got good insurance. And yet it was easier to get help as a poor grad student than as a fully-employed adult with money to spend because my university actually had good services and I got really lucky with a good provider I could afford to see. Every hospital group has only like 1-2 providers for about 175,000 people. There are 4 hospital groups (one is a HUGE university teaching hospital). Only about 8 people have ANY availability and it’s open only to in-house referrals, basically. WTF?!

I wish someone would have told me how hard this would be 6 months ago when I have having a miscarriage and was about to graduate. FML. Life has not been super duper easy but I am slogging through really well. However, I can see dark clouds. And I wish that I could proactively get ahead. In fact, I keep getting admonished for not being more proactive but I’ve literally done nothing wrong. After graduation, I told my doctor I needed a referral. She agreed I needed to see someone and likely had the beginnings of prenatal depression (no surprise as I have HG), and then I went to the referral and got fucked over :/

I hope this therapist works out but I’m out of ideas if he doesn’t and I feel really defeated. It’s hard to keep trying and plugging away when NOTHING seems to work - even your best laid plans. I don’t have any advice here (but it’s welcome if you’ve got it) I just meant to say “holy crap, guys, the hole in mental health care is more real than ever”. If you are struggling, I hope you find someone. And if you’ve found your therapist/shrink/counselor person, I hope your good luck rubs off on me soon.